Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I cut my penus on the lid.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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