That's intense
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
