ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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