Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
