You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Welp...herpes.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
