in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
