We're facebook friends in real life
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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