Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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