Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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