Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
