Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
