Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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