It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
