glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
