Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
