if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
