I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
