So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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