im drinking this country out of the recession.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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