he thought i was a dude.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
