I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize