Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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