So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize