the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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