There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
