he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
