She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
