FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
