My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
