OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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