He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
