So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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