The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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