i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
