my phone needs a breathalizer
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
