i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The air was thick with penises
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize