Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
nutella sex= disaster
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
