i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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