Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
