Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dear god my vagina.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
