ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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