Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
