i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
