That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
