I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
