it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
