you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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