good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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