you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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