is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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