well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
