it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
