You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
