What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
