He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
