You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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