Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
