hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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