It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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