Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Randomize
