i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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