so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The adults are the big ones right?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize