your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize